Expecting!

I wanted to keep track of these things for myself so I could remember milestones and how this experience has been for me.  I promise not to post too many of these because I know the only people interested are my mom and other pregnant ladies!, but you will see them from time to time as things actually do change.  Also, I am trying to keep an honest log for myself so if things are TMI I am #sorrynotsorry about that and you can just skip over that sentence ;)

Finding out!

I didn't want to take a pregnancy test too early because I didn't want to be disappointed if it was negative.  My cycles had been all wacky ever since going off BC, so a lot of months I would think I would be pregnant only to be disappointed about a week (or two) later.  Basically, I didn't want to get my hopes up and wanted to be positive it would be positive if that makes sense!

Finally, Friday night we decided it might be fun just to take a test and after googling early pregnancy symptoms and checking the calendar I felt confident enough.  We went to Walmart and bought the test.  We saw about one or two people we distantly knew in the store and tried to not make eye contact or speak more than just a friendly hello.  Also, we had to grab something to hide the test because we felt embarrassed for some reason.  It's silly that we felt this way and ironic how society and culture has shifted perceptions and somehow associated this wonderful gift with shame  (too many TV shows, movies, etc portray "unwanted"/unplanned pregnancy).  Then we went home and I took the test and I set it on my nightstand for a few minutes while we talked and tried not to count down the time.  Finally I looked at it and couldn't make out a second line, so I told David it was negative and basically better luck next time.  We felt pretty let down after all that build up, but hey it's how life goes I guess.  A while later David thought to look at it again and he could see another faint pink line.  We went to look at it in better lighting and could make out another very faint pink line.  Our moods immediately shifted and I took another test--again POSITIVE.  We talked a bit about how excited and happy and surreal it all felt and then went to bed (it was pretty late by this point).  In the morning, I took another test to be triple sure; again POSITIVE and I felt so much relief.

I actually took this at 19 weeks trying to suck in, haha!  I wanted the picture but kept forgetting to take it when there was nice lighting.